Postcard from the Jubilee

Britain has a problem. Not only because someone is bothering to dress this poor statue up for any excuse; not only because of the weather/performance at Eurovision/government/etc, but because of this: the word 'bostin'' has dropped out of common parlance.

As I was wondering whether to take this photo of the bull's Jubilee outfit given that a passing bird had removed what may have remained of his dignity with that white smear on his forehead, a couple stopped to read the sign placed by his rump. It's advertising the shopping centre's contributions to the summer of celebrations across Britain. They've branded this the 'Bostin British Summer'.

One of the pair said, (in an English accent, though not West Midlands) 'What's 'bostin'?'

I can't blame him. It's Brummie slang you don't hear used much even in Brum.

I don't really mind the Jubilee bunting overkill, the Olympic endurance event or anything else that's making 2012 the summer to supposedly end all summers. I just can't help thinking Britain would be a nicer place if it were Bostin rather than trying to be Great.

Postcard from Rio

Rio's a huge city. There's loads to do. But in Zona Sul it's all about how little you can do and the best place for that is the beach.

Choose your patch of sand carefully though: each lifeguard 'poste' has its own sub-culture. I'm a long way from being trendy, and you know I'm also lazy, so it's a good job my nearest 'poste' was 11: family-friendly, so less pressure to look good.

No matter which poste you choose though, the soundtrack is the same: shouts of 'Olha o Globo!' from passing vendors. I don't know which food group Biscoito Globo fall within. They seem to be made of crunchy air and are either salted or sweet. The texture is like no biscuit you ever tasted and I'm convinced they have no calorific value. There's no need to inform me if you know otherwise.