Postcard from Stratford

This is Stratford-upon-Avon rather than the Olympic one, and things are rather more genteel. No lycra-clad exertion required and no records to beat - more likely that you'll bump into someone clad in Elizabethan finery declaiming iambic pentameter. And the worst of the traffic jams are on the water.

You might have expected me to post pictures of the Shakespeare houses or other picturesque sights but while there I went to an exhibition which made me look at things in a different way. 'Of all the people in all the world...', an installation by Stan's Cafe, used grains of rice to represent the individuals behind statistics in a way which made me fully appreciate what they meant. I work with numbers, but no graph or percentage score ever made me think as hard as this did.

Postcard from Moseley Old Hall

Complicated and labour-intensive gardening does not appeal to me. Here's what does: weathered brick enclosing a walled orchard, a lavender-lined path busy with bees, tea, and cake. This path led to a cafe serving delicious scones. Almost perfect. The quite large drawback is the M54 - makes it easy to get there but provides a constant soundtrack of tyre on tarmac.

Moseley Old Hall makes a big deal out of the fact Charles II hid there for two nights. They obviously hadn't got the cafe sorted back then or I'm sure he'd have stayed longer.

The property used to be a farm so the orchard is in keeping and the stables and other buildings have been put into service with shop, exhibition space etc. But they've done some gardening in what would have been the farm yard. Complicated, labour-intensive knot gardening. Those seventeenth century folk had no idea how to relax.

Postcard from The Voyage

A great big ship isn't what you expect to see in the middle of a land-locked city such as Birmingham. But a big ship is what we've had for the past weekend, albeit a fake one designed as a stage for a dance, music and light show. And it was great.

Not just seeing a ship docked against the Town Hall, but the entire show which included the excitement of a launch, the sadness of separation (with projected love letters as shown above), the tragedy of shipwreck and a joyous arrival. And it was free!

Apparently it was something to do with London 2012 but that makes so little sense I'm going to ignore it. I want to go on a Voyage again and I don't care who pays.

Postcard from the Jubilee

Britain has a problem. Not only because someone is bothering to dress this poor statue up for any excuse; not only because of the weather/performance at Eurovision/government/etc, but because of this: the word 'bostin'' has dropped out of common parlance.

As I was wondering whether to take this photo of the bull's Jubilee outfit given that a passing bird had removed what may have remained of his dignity with that white smear on his forehead, a couple stopped to read the sign placed by his rump. It's advertising the shopping centre's contributions to the summer of celebrations across Britain. They've branded this the 'Bostin British Summer'.

One of the pair said, (in an English accent, though not West Midlands) 'What's 'bostin'?'

I can't blame him. It's Brummie slang you don't hear used much even in Brum.

I don't really mind the Jubilee bunting overkill, the Olympic endurance event or anything else that's making 2012 the summer to supposedly end all summers. I just can't help thinking Britain would be a nicer place if it were Bostin rather than trying to be Great.

Postcard from Rio

Rio's a huge city. There's loads to do. But in Zona Sul it's all about how little you can do and the best place for that is the beach.

Choose your patch of sand carefully though: each lifeguard 'poste' has its own sub-culture. I'm a long way from being trendy, and you know I'm also lazy, so it's a good job my nearest 'poste' was 11: family-friendly, so less pressure to look good.

No matter which poste you choose though, the soundtrack is the same: shouts of 'Olha o Globo!' from passing vendors. I don't know which food group Biscoito Globo fall within. They seem to be made of crunchy air and are either salted or sweet. The texture is like no biscuit you ever tasted and I'm convinced they have no calorific value. There's no need to inform me if you know otherwise.

Postcard from Iguazu

I've gone for the Spanish spelling of Iguazu Falls because, even though I was on holiday in Portuguese-speaking Brazil, I took this photo on the Argentinian side of the river. The actual border crossing is on a far less exciting concrete bridge some way downstream of the Falls and involves officials, bureaucracy and queues. On the river, nature sweeps all that aside and just says, 'I'm coming though'.

When you stand at the end of the walkway to the edge of the largest of the falls you can't be anything but impressed. The noise is overwhelming, the drop alarming and, even though you're experiencing only the tiny fraction of water which rises as spray, you're drenched. There isn't really any need for the health and safety signs which, thanks to the Brazilians employing a comedy translator, read 'Do not overtake the bannisters'.

The language doesn't matter. You only need one word: wow.

Postcard from the United Nations

This scale-replica of a UN office in Geneva came to Birmingham as part of Fierce Festival. It was a delight to see the chosen dachshunds taking their seats as representatives of various countries and likely that they managed to achieve as much in their 'meeting' as any UN council does. They certainly behaved well. Only a few tried to escape and their media coverage was overwhelmingly positive. Perhaps the world really should go to the dogs.

Can't say I was impressed by the entrepreneurial fast food vendor who'd set up stall to sell hot dogs next to the gathering though...